Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
I just got a voicemail from some strange woman with a Russian accent. Are you ok?
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
Now I have the opportunity to have Chris Pratt or Channing Tatum?!? What a time to be alive.
THERE ARE LEGITLY 4 SEPARATE BITE MARKS ON MY DICK. WHAT. THE. FUCK.
Legitimately*
Go fuck yourself
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
Randomize
