She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
God gave me these boobs for a reason other than for people to throw things down them.
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
I really really need to have and out of body experience just so I can talk to myself about this shit that I'm doing with my life.
Just left a strip club where they let me on stage to teach them tricks. Time of my life!
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
Wall of shame with a backpack full of beer bottles, cowboy hat in hand, and a handlebar mustache. I was applauded by a passing car
PSA- Wearing assless chaps results in embarrassingly painful sunburn
Like I wasn't going to make out with the hot Australian sitting next to me at the Portland blazer game?
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
I’m going to lick a fucking door knob when this shit is all over
Probably Waffle House
Randomize
