Got a toothbrush?
woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
What can I say, he stumbled upon the key to my heart: orgasms and mac 'n cheese.
This year I'm going to try NOT getting arrested. I think the 30th birthday is the cutoff for calling Mom to bail me out.
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
Now that it's fall I have to prepare for the imminent arrival of ripped up sweatpants shoved into folded over sequined uggs
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
You had me at "let me see your balls"
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
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