I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
The only way im leaving this casino is in a golden chariot or an ambulance
I was just at the bank and there was a fat lady wearing a cape. today is gonna be awesome.
Friends are holding an intervention and have no idea this gatorade is half vodka. This is gonna be the best intervention ever.
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first
Put a Santa hat on my junk. He's wants to be festive too.
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
Fuck you. Fuck this party. I just wanted to be pretty with a cute little tiara and boys sucking my tits, now i have a hangman game drawn on my face and jello shots in my hair.
I wanted to give you a great birthday party. You know I did.
I quit doing blow for him. If that doesn’t say “I’m in love with you and want to marry you” idk what does
Randomize
