Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
by the end of the night i am guaranteed to have less of a face than Seal....
My 10 year old son gave me a bottle of jameson for fathers day. Did you have something to do with this?
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
i've eaten like 19 popsicles... what the fuck have you done today?
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
My boss asked me what was wrong today and I really wanted to tell her I woke up too late to smoke a bowl before coming in
Let me guess you did your hair instead? Has anyone told you about priorities?
I screenshoted his dick pic the other day because it literally looked like a brontosaurus. Like that really tall dinosaur that eats grass. Like I wanna draw a face on it.
If he ever pulls my hair again, I'm going to conveniently have lock jaw. Then he can decide whether pain during sex is still fucking appealing.
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