"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
Woke up next to a tiki torch spooning a plastic flamingo on a welcome mat i've never seen before with a "happy valentines day" balloon tied to my wrist, oh yeah and "i am a cougar" is written on my chest in sharpee and all the kitchen furniture is upside down...
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Right now I'm standing in front of my fridge, drinking wine out of the bottle and eating cold steak with my hands. I am THE BEST at being single.
And then I cried about the Cubs for a half hour. If my dignity hadn't already been lost by that point in the night, it sure as hell was then.
So right before she was about to give me head she tapped the tip and said "Is this thing on" I think I'm in love.
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
Got my period and a UTI on the same day. Fuck you, Sunday.
So if your sore it's because you tried to tackle a tree last night. When I told you at the party, you said "What do you expect, I'm an athlete!"
Randomize