dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
the bathroom floor of the diner looks a lot different when you're not rolling around and puking on it.
I tried to take a photo for proof but couldn't hold my penis, camera, and measuring tape all at the same time.
I just sat there and watched paula deen's face melt for an hour.
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
I just stabbed open a can of Spaghetti Os with a spork. Who says I cant take care of myself?
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
so like
i may have gotten a little bit of blood in the charging port of my phone
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
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