Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
please remember that your boobs are bigger than your sisters. when you borrow her shirts they stretch and then shes left flapping in the breeze. dont borrow her clothes anymore. love dad.
i just realized that im half way to my goal of puking in every single toilet on our floor
he laminated a picture of his dick.
You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
The fact that he quoted freebird as his breakup speech was a little more classy than expected
You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.
Okay, but that still doesn't explain all the glitter in my puke.
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
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