your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
he told me he saved a turtle in the middle of the road.. i told him id be over in ten minutes...i mean he deserves a bj after that.
He asked if I wanted to leave my bra on while we were doing it from behind bc he read somewhere that all that pounding can be painful for big breasts. THAT thoughtful.
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
I'm pretty sure that if I didn't have a gerbil with a shotgun in my uterus I would think i was knocked up cuz all I want is hot sauce
Medically YOU CAN'T BE AN ALCOHOLIC TILL 25!!!!! WE GET 3 BONUS YEARS!!!!
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
About to go get a free burrito for kissing a bald man in public
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
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