Yeah. I woke up naked in his bed this morning and remember saying "Get a condom cuz I can't afford an abortion right now" last night. He didn't run. He's a keeper
i never thought i'd have to say "please stop having sex on me"
wow.
yeah, it was that bad.
and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
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Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
His hands were made for my vagina.
The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
I just found a hunk of ham in my back jeans pocket from god knows when. We gotta stop going so ham.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake
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