Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
I just realized I'm gonna get paid at midnight on New Years Eve. That could be dangerous.
She showed me her prom dress from 2001, which still had her date's cum stain on it.
Oh, so that's why you call her jizzarella....
That girl that gave me a blowjob, I think I fired her last year.
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
God, please protect all woman from micro-penises
I can now recognize that when my wine bottle reaches a certain point, I probably shouldn't tweet, text or call anyone. RESPONSIBILITY
I just licked a piece of cheese off my phone screen if that makes you feel any better
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
Do you think he’ll fall in love with me if I tell him I have a nickname for his penis
Randomize
