This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
He's taking me to Burger King to celebrate losing my virginity..
I can't tell if your life is amazing or needs reevaluation when "did I get hit with a nightstick" is a legitimate question.
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
I can't find my underwear or one of my shoes but he baked me cookies for breakfast.
She just came home holding a fire hydrant. Yes a fire hydrant.
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
The other night he asked if I had a condom and I said I had an IUD. and he goes OMG A BOMB?
I wore a shirt that says "more tequila" to my bday party last year and that's why I want to be my own friend
I seriously just forgot to push down the toaster twice in a row \n\nSo I've been waiting 8 minutes for toaster strudels that I haven't even started... Too high
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
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