It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
Last night I ate the rest of the salsa with my hands. And i DONT have a hangover? Glorious.
only you would photoshop your dick
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
So it looks like you may be an uncle real soon. Don't ask how I feel about it and don't text me back.
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
Nothing like a dick pic from your fave ex to make you audibly exhale sadly.
Granted, I did not plan to spend ANY hour of the last day of 2020 sober.
Randomize
