I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
I wore a firefighters hat and drank beer all night. They had to drive me home after breaking the beer pong table, they told me I was welcome back tonight though...
Oh my fucking god you idiot bitch just get here forget about the vodka the fucking cops are looking for you
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away
Also I want everyone to be drunk at my funeral. Instead of wearing black just blackout. That way everyone can celebrate how fun I was
Standing here wondering if its a good idea to cook pork chops in the toaster or not.
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
Overheard a drunk girl talk about how when she's drunk she believes in more than one God
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
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