This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
Tears do usually get me what I want. That and oral sex.
I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.
Do you remember that blonde girl he brought home from the bar on Friday night? She didn't leave until Monday afternoon. We didn't even know she was still in his room...what a sketchy weekend.
dude you need a shock collar for some of the things you say when you're drunk.
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
I vaguely remember trying to exfoliate my face with your leg hair. Sorry about that.
Apparently drunk me thinks it's a good idea to put drops of acid in assorted open drinks in the fridge... This should be a fun week.
Is it bad that all my wine bottles have teeth marks in the cork?
I am in his childhood bedroom and I feel like his trophies are applauding me and his stuffed bunny is disgusted with me. Did you know he was a mathlete?
To be honest I've become too lazy for the work involved in getting laid.
You run marathons and you're too lazy for sex? Priorities, man.
Touche.
I dropped my pants and she just stared until she asked how is that even possible? Best night ever lmao
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
Woke up to find my underwear in my purse to only remember I took them off at the airport
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