Thats something to write home to mom about
Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her
Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
They thought I was the paid stripper pretty much, and a lady tried to set me up with her nephew and then wanted to get my number for lesbian daughter... A typical night for me
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
Around noon tomorrow come looking for me. I'll be on Mill wearing whatever clothes I haven't lost yet. DO NOT REPLY. DO NOT ASK QUESTIONS. JUST DO IT.
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
Nope, sorry. Already took my bra off. All down hill from here. My next act will be crying, singing, and eating girl scout cookies in the shower. You can come watch the shit show though.
I just spent a pre-4th of july celebration riding in a raft being towed by a car through a town that I've never heard of handing out flyers for a river rafting company that I never knew existed. Good night.
dude, i warned you that using a card to pay for my hotel room was a bad idea. You deserve the extra $600 in cleaning fees
I miss the "How many Grindr hits can I get while performing in an elementary school?" game.
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
The cat is stealing cigarettes and my vagina cures blindness. How's your night?
QUIT BEING A BITCH, DRINK SOME PEPTO, AND PUKE ON OUR FOES
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
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