I thought smoking would make her look better, but all it did was enlighten me to her snaggletooth
Sounds like a blessing in disguise
his dog just threw up on me too. its like im a throwup magnet to that family.
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
No you usually just ranted about the voicemail bitch until she cut you off again
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
Why even have a ground level apt if you're not gonna let me climb out the window? I hate walk of shaming in front of toddlers...
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
How bad is it that I can say that this isn't the first time a married man, who is in the military, has tried to make me his mistress?
Randomize
