Whod you bang
Are you for fucking real.? He divorced me just because he got a fucking girlfriend.?!
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
I have a beer in one hand and a slim fast in another. It's another one of those wednesday nights.
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
I had her number in my wallet, I was sitting on a winning ticket for the blowjob lottery and didn't know
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
Bruh why you gotta judge
You're awake at 3:30 in the morning RSVPing to a musical, I'm well within my means
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
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