it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
Don't make out with my wife yet
I can text with my tongue
So i banged this chick from Peru last night. Needless to say, I'm having chipotle for lunch todayas a south American reward to honor her.
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
we're going to drop off one of our cars at the police station tonight so we'll be able to drive home in the morning
Who's nuvaring is under my pillow?
I can't come tonight. Someone took a shit in the dressing room. A.) Clean it up or B.) Kill myself. Text back with your answer.
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
Randomize
