But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
Three questions. How does a tomato drive a car, how does an asparagus play a guitar, and how am I still so high that I chose to watch Veggie Tales?
I'm walking down the street with a Starbucks in one hand and a flask in the other. People seem to have a staring problem
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
He hasn't left the hospital without a nurse's number all year. My nurses are always ugly or men. Wtf bro
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
i ended up eating cold sauceless spaghetti out of the container in the fridge with my hands.
He was so fat that he broke two of my ribs
Maybe it's time to stop screaming I'm a chubby chaser every time you enter a drinking establishment
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
I turn 40 next week. I deserve to celebrate the end of my 30’s with a 21 year old dick
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