Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
Brought 2 entire pizzas with to the bar, everyone loves us
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
...oh my god that's like anal suicide
I'm aware. I'm writing the eulogy for my colon as we speak.
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
Saved a life and got us a free vacuum cleaner (and learned vacuum is not spelled "vacumn"). Get on my level.
A giant panda just asked me for a cigarette and said "man pandas gotta smoke too." There is something wrong with this place.
I got so stoned last night I thought I was in second grade again
Woke up in the ER with a nurse holding my tongue together inside of my mouth and a shattered jaw, the last thing I remember is opening the 151, care to fill me in?
Discovery: there is a folder in my pictures labeled "Your Name and cats"
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
Randomize
