Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
Any time you start making pro wrestling references before 10 PM I know that I'm breaking up a fight between you and some muscled up frat boy you call Hogan.
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
Just wanted to let you know that I always win at "whose ex is crazier" because of you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He has a chalkboard tally in his bathroom of "Me vs. Toilet". He's losing.
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
He seriously just asked the doctor if taking the medicine for chlamydia was going to cut into his drinking time. Never let it be said that he is not dedicated.
You know why nobody comes up with Sober October? Other than it's Oktoberfest? Because Sober October doesn't benefit anyone, just like your judgment isn't benefiting me. I'll talk to you in November. Unless you make up another alcoholless month.
If you want to borrow my flask for all future interviews as a good luck charm because your last one went so well with it in your suit pocket, just let me know
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
I've hit an all time low of asking baristas what would go good with marshmallow vodka. I think I might hire one to party with all of us. To make hangover drinks
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
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