I guess i tried to text 911 last night with "someone stole my bong." Thank god that doesn't work...
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
Admitting I go to nursing school is my subtle way of saying, yes, I know every muscle in your penis and how to effectively use them.
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with
The guy at the ER said it was the first time he's given stitches for a funneling accident. Then he seemed upset that I took pride in that...
YOU ARE SO GOD DAMN LOUD AND YOU'RE SHAKING THE GOD DAMN HOUSE. FUCKING STOP.
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
We were 6 minutes into the movie before we realized the whole movie was spoken in Italian. That level of stupidly-ripped
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
Randomize
