how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste...
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.
THEY NOW HAVE MIXED DRINK EMOJIS! LIFE IS GOOD! PRINCESSES DON'T DRINK BEER
I'm at a restaurant. I am NOT about to discuss my asshole over the phone.
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
Randomize
