garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
You sent me a picture of you licking the bottom of a shoe and the caption was "it tastes like shoe"
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
I found my grandmother's vibrator, how was your day?
Lack of response to this text gains you a half hour of freedom before I initiate operations to conclude you are not, in fact, comatose. You requested no mercy.
That moment when your mom is so drunk she makes you get out of bed to lay in her bed because she thinks it feels like sleeping on a marshmallow peep....
i'm gonna friendzone myself so you dont have to
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
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