I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
what the fuck. my fiance told me she called our wedding band last night and told them to perform "best i ever had" for our first dance
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
The cop refused to sing with us, even though he was as happy as we were that the tow truck finally showed up.
you kept thanking chef boyardee for having pull tab cans
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
FYI, Sammie and I made the executive decision that we're getting a pet octopus and keeping it in the ballpit. Just thought you should know.
Was behind a guy going 20 for 4 miles I'll be there as soon as the universe quits fucking me
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
Yeah. I'm so over work, that I'm not even satisfied pretending to work anymore. I just flat out want to go home. Fuck this job
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
It's three am. I'm drunk in a stairwell in Vegas. My flight leaves at six. Help.
Randomize
