spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
i totally just wrapped her wedding gift in tin foil. These are the skills 2 bachelor's degrees have given me.
Pretty sure I just had sex with the black kid who grew up in a car from "angels in the outfield"
How come I never meet celebrities?
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think for all the guys in my phone, I'm going to change their pictures to pics of their dicks. It's easier to identify them that way.
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
...You tried to use your wallet to call her after you gave your cell phone to the cab driver as a "peace offering"
No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
Randomize