I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
Down at cameli's and some homeless dude just pulled out a taser. Awesome.
Maybe we should try and tone it down a notch. The neighbors changed the name of their wifi network to "i can hear you having sex".
How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
Also I have uncooked pasta. I was hoping that could get cooked at your place. Don't ask about the circumstances that I came into ownership of uncooked pasta
Chicken wings don't come back up an through your nose as easily as you'd think
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
I woke up on a park bench with a nice homeless guy waking me up. I bought us Carl's Jr. Best birthday ever!
But the problem is you celebrate with your heart but I celebrate with my liver
I've never sung with balls in my mouth
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