Holy jesus god. My teeth taste like street.
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
he just ordered a side of pineapple and winked at me. too much for a first date. come get me.
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
She bit me. She gave me a brief pity cuddle. I gave her an awkward backrub, somehow I thought it would be a good idea to include the vagina in that. It wasn't.
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
Is it bad that when someone says the phrase "helicopter dick" I immediately think of you?
Come back. Shots need mouths.
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
Just got the test results back; apparently I'm red-green colorblind. this explains the past 18 years of my life and i'm wondering why i didn't realize this sooner
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
Randomize
