Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
I used to practice getting hit by cars.
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
Is the booze for tonight or the apocalypse?
Both. Pregaming the zombie party and hurricane sustenance.
I asked my mom if she could pick up something for me to drink since we ran out of orange juice and she goes "We have beer, champagne, and baileys. Drink one of those."
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
Randomize
