he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
You're having sex and i just smoked and made oatmeal...i'll give you some time to be jealous
If you dedicate your next bite to me, I'll dedicate my first orgasm to you.
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
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He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
I was drunk petting a fox and taking shots of Jager. That's about as outdoorsy as it gets.
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
Are you texting, crying and driving?
And missing part of my eyebrow. Correct that is the description one would give of me at the moment.
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I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
My credit card got frozen due to suspicious activity. "Let's go over your recent transaction history... it looks like these are all at bars." BITCH, DON'T JUDGE MY MONDAY NIGHTS.
That guy I hooked up with in new york last 2 statuses are "I'm going to be a father, it's a girl" then "wow syphilis sure does burn" I'm legit scared... What has my life come to.
I legitimately just had to leave work because I am too hungover. The front office ladies keep making fun of me.
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
Randomize