Every time there's an awkward silence a gay baby is born
i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
Just got to costco. Where are you?
Liquor aisle, bring another cart.
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
But I always wanted my obit to read "Died violently in casino orgy," not "Never woke up from rectal surgery."
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
Due to the events of st patties day last year I created a moral and ethical policy so that I won't get kicked out of the bar again. It mostly consists of not wearing pants so then I don't take them off at the bar.. and subsequently get kicked out.
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
Forgot to tell you--the bartender at Crowbar set his arm on fire last night. He was doing this "Cocktail" bartender trick of pouring alcohol that was on fire between glasses. Then some leaked out, onto his arm, and set his arm on fire, then his shirt. Exciting! (And he's ok).
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
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