I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
Drinking wine in my childhood bed getting ready to go to sleep in order to wake up for my menial temp job. Thanks, college degree, I can handle the real world.
Just so you're aware, tomorrow is "Slow Clap when you see Mike" day.
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
why is my forehead so bruised?
i found you outside knocking on the door with your head because you couldn't lift your arms.
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
Hey please buy toilet paper today. Plastic grocery bags are starting to hurt now
I'm always drunk lately
Now I'm in a game of hide and seek in Sears
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
I just gave her a sobriety test in the middle of the baking aisle.
And the results, officer?
She's fucked.
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
Apparently the cops had to handcuff me in order to get me to come with to the hospital with them. They asked me if I had had any experience with handcuffs before and I replied, "Only in bed." What a life
found my cat trying to steal a lighter to hide away for himself. cat what are you doing. don't pocket my lighter.
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
Randomize
