ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
Just got tipped $5 for distracting some dude's gf while he got another girl's number. Bro-code at its finest.
You were a path of destruction, you started with eating half the cake, proceeded by throwing the rest in the sink and dumping water all over it while laughing... then throwing the drunk helmet across the room yelling that you didnt want to wear it... i'd say it was a successful birthday.
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
Hate sex is good. Drunk sex is better. Combine those two however and you get the best experience of your LIFE.
Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad
You wrote me a check. For zero dollars. For my soul. Dick.
The police report said "I asked the suspect if he had any identification. He replied yes and gave me a Pizza Hut gift card"
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
I texted him in the morning wishing him a day as spectacular as his dick was.
I woke up to some strange woman rubbing peanut butter on my thighs
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
Randomize
