Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
You're just mad that I don't wanna have dugout sex with you
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
I unknowingly motorboated my boyfriend's ex-gf last night. Yay me!
It's amazing how hard it it while drunk to not comment "fuck you" on dumb peoples' statuses
I just got a free round of shots. Don't you DARE fuckin tell me that A-cup boobs can't get you good things.
He was only in jail for 4 hours before he was someone's prison wife
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
2020 sucks, I want a refund
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