Wow so 15 missed calls, a vm AND a text saying come downstairs? ...And where is downstairs? Explain.
I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
you called me at 4 am to tell me you found the cracker barrel location where we'll have lunch next week
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
Drinking vodka straight out of a beer bottle because I don't want to be judged. Not my best idea and not my worst.
My public calorie counter app is pretty much just a cry for help.
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
Please tell me that SOMEONE, SOMEWHERE, has created a drink called a 'Tequila Mockingbird'. PLEASE.
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
that's what I'm here for. I'm literally just bad advice mixed with motivational sentences.
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
Come over. Bring drugs. My sister is making cookies. She took Valium. They should be badass cookies.
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