She's mad at me cuz I told her having a fuck buddy was too much commitment.
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
What did you wear last night? Because I'm pretty sure there are atleast 4 Facebook statuses about your walk of shame.
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
I went from innocently day drinking to waking up handcuffed in jail. Fuck you game days
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
I just sneezed and it made my entire body ache. Hungover is an understatement
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
You have got to be the only man who has passed out while getting a lap dance.
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
You were so drunk last night that you fell thru the bathroom door at the bar, ripping it off the hinges in the process. But, your birthday tiara stayed on thru the whole thing. I'd call it a succcessful evening. Happy birthday kiddo!
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