doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
My mom just got knocked over by a rollerblader. I'm trying not to laugh, bc my family looks pretty concerned
the boobs are fake... i feel like i just found out santa isn't real.
Woke up in a different state, wearing only a bk crown. My boxers are in a tree and I think I went to the hospital last night.....
I told you not to do acid with the girl who works the late shift at 7-11
swear to god, just saw some chick dressed in a full chicken costume buying eggs and telling the cashier that she "just wants her babies back."
buy whatever she's on. a lot of it.
You are like a prophet. It's amazing how many people you convince to be lesbians.
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
It feels like im being cuddled by a thousand little smurf vaginas
When your boyfriends ex-girlfriend texts you to see what you're wearing to his sister's wedding that you were not invited to, nor knew about. I think it's time to call it quits.
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
A dude I dated in high school just put a status about National Coming Out day. I checked his relationship status. He is dating a dude. Hello, Friday.
whatcha doing?
lying in bed pretending to be a slug
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