why do my parents always seem to be having way more sex than i do?
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
Well the weddings in 4 days so I already got the eightball lined up and the wii fit all warmed up. Still wanna bet I wont lose 20 pounds by the wedding?
just woke up to a get well card i wrote myself when i was drunk. it was by the advil. i am a cocky bitch.
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
That man gives me hope. I can't help it. And by "hope" I mean "wood."
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
Fuck this. I'm adopting 12 cats and naming them after the 12 disciples. Maybe Jesus will have sympathy for me then.
Girl. There is no more toilet paper. You should have seen the twerking I just did to shake the pee off.
Randomize
