u know whats better than using ur vibrator? using it w/ jeopardy on in the background and half moaning the correct final jeopardy question. yeah that just happened.
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
Was awful. Wedding photos taken by a river with used syringes floating past. Had to ask the bride to put down a can of rum to have her photo taken.
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've decided I'm gonna attack people with the toilet plunger.
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
A little boy in a bathroom stall just shouted "mom where's your penis?? Is it inside you?"
How frowned upon is it to take your vibrator into the tanning bed...because Operation: dripping wet is in full swing and I have a busy schedule
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
I found a video on my phone from last night... You got up on the table at McDonald's and screamed BURRITOOO!
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
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