If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
i'll never see her again. i cant remember her last name. this is like cinderella except prince charming drank too much jameson and couldnt save a phone number properly
I just gave some chick my debit card to put in the jukebox. She better put out.
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
Since your rent is paid til the first, we decided to use your apartment as the beer pong room. We apologize in advance for losing your security deposit.
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
I wish pancakes were everywhere. Just pancakes. I want lilies at my wedding. No dress. Just priest. Just lilies.
He tried to finger me at Disneyland! He tried to taint the happiest place on earth!
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
Within the span of 10 minutes, I managed to make a slip 'n slide on his stomach, threatened to pee on him, kneed myself in the eye, and almost fell asleep on the toilet....in that order.
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
He was semi blacked out in the hallway with a bucket, calling for me while I had sex with his best friend in the very next room. Why do you let me do these things?
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
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