cant believe you said you would bone perez hilton
i said paris hilton
thats even worse
I said ACK before Andy Samberg made it even remotely funny. That tool is stealing all my lines.
Yeah, you've definitely been jizzing in your pants years before he made it socially acceptable
FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
this ugly chick literally cried last night because i wouldnt let her give me head
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The album was titled "Best Night Ever" until she found out she was preggers and switched it to "God Punishes Sluts"
I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
he sent me this 10 second long video of a gorilla eating a banana on my phone. no explanation. I didn't even have his number. just. a gorilla eating a banana.
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My right boob is officially about a handful while my left is 1 and 3/4 handfuls. I'm staring at the mirror falling into a deep depression.
The only thing I'm asking santa for is my period.
And vodka?
And vodka.
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
You are the funniest drunk Jew I know. Never in my life have I witnessed someone respond, "Is your dick kosher?" while being picked-up on.
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
I just got dumped by my fuck buddy. Now I have to have sex with my husband.
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