No matter how drunk I am, I will take the time to wipe a pube off the toilet seat.
Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
It's 3 in the morning and there is a bird chirping it's head off outside. GOD DAMNIT THIS IS NOT A TIME TO SING OF YOUR CHEERFUL BIRD MERRIMENT YOU STUPID BIRD CUNT!
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey douche face I just want you to know, if you ever got hit by a bus, I'd really miss you.
Only if you died obviously.
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
You kidnapped her dog. I don't care that you and the dog are epic bros, that's just not cool. Return him.
Make a note to pack something that won't catch shell casings in your cleavage
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
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