You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
I think I just saw my 8th grade band teacher trying to pick up a hooker
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
I just want a guy that likes cats and is willing to get a vasectomy. IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK?!
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
Randomize
