My underwear smells like fireworks.
At least you're going to bed with all the teeth you woke up with
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
1 month til my stepdad becomes a u.s. citizen, so if you want to get in on the divorce pool its your last chance, $5 a square.
I just got woken up by some Christians who wanted to talk about the bible. ways to make a hangover even worse for a thousand trebek
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
Wors thing about having a cop dad: random drug testing
Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too.
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
She said it was unconventional for me to yell "Shazam!!" when I came inside her.
Walking into my bedroom & smelling stale sex & disappointment isn't how I envisioned being 39, in case you were wondering.
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
Randomize
