she looked like the bat from fern gully.
Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
I swear god is testing me by giving me awesome guys with tiny penises
Actually I more feel like I'm on a ship about to grab the holy grail off an island
The ship is me being high the holy grail is some profound idea I'm about to have
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
She made sure everyone knew we were doing shots for her dead grandma.
if becoming an adult is chugging a bottle of wine in your bed and crying about your stresses while your dog watches you, sign me up
my god I love twenty year old dicks
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
Randomize
