dude you need to get laid
me?
no, the other guy who hasn't been laid in 7 months
oh I thought you were talkin about me
wait
Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
we saw you sitting at the door of the dorm trashed, wrapped in DANGER tape with a stolen balloon around your wrist
We ended up on a hotel balcony in Daytona where she lured a seagull down with a pizza crust she found in her purse and preceded to grab it out of the air by it's neck.
I'm reciting my presentation (beer in hand) on the porch to a snowmen audience.
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again??
It's not your birthday unless mom picks you up at the bar
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
Woke up at 8am and asked if she had coffee.... She handed me a shot of tequila...
Randomize
