He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
Drunk roommate walked in on us and asked if we wanted to go eat a sandwich with her in the bathroom.
on todays agenda: meeting with a life coach then going to the dollar store to buy batteries for my vibrator. clearly im still unemployed.
I looked at you and you stared at me dead in the eyes then sprayed febreze at your crotch and winked.
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
You emptied out your taco and asked the lady for a refill...and then you continued to carry out a full conversation SCREAMING
Apparently it is impossible to get kicked out of taco bell....I'll try harder next time
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
Oh Jesus. Are you going to the hospital?
No I'm showering then leaving for Vegas
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
Surprise court date day!!! Wake the fuck up!
You were on the train yelling, "THIS TRAIN NEEDS TO GO FASTER SO I CAN GO HAVE SEX WITH MY BOYFRIEND!!!"
Guess how much it costs to flush your pants down the toilet?
Randomize
