I'm in that stage of denial where I hope our kids have his nose.
You do realize that you broke up with him, right?
she was drooling, sharted in her sleep, rolled over stuck her hand under the covers pulled it back out, smelled it and moaned and rolled back over. i almost added puke to the disgusting bodily fluid category.
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
When i tried to give you something that wasn't tequila...like water....you kept saying it was against your religion.
I've always been the spiritual type.
Then we managed to set a grill and all 24lbs of meat on it on fire. I didn't help because I was filled with alcohol and extra flammable.
I just sneezed alcohol in a candle and started a fire.
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
You told her dad that you were gonna "superman that ho" I love the first impressions you make
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
Simple revenge plan: break into his house and steal one shoe of every pair
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
Randomize
