he changed my name in his contacts to "rick", so his mom wouldn't know he was texting me
Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
NEW RULE: can't hook up with more than 50% of the groomsmen in wedding party or it becomes wrong kind of weird. NUMBERS GAME.
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
Well on the plus side I have started adding benefiber to my bottle of wine
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
she had a dildo shaped like a dolphin. she will forever be known as Flipper
Listen, I just paid for a hotel room, so I didn't have to have sex in his car. I'm adulting successfully.
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
Randomize
