Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
i just snorted my name. best moment ever
i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
God forbid we drive unregistered mopeds without license plates on a pedestrians only sidewalk without goggles while flipping off passing cars.
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
Great. Now I'm always going to be the roommate that boned a guy with a third nipple.
Please assure him that the flying penis statue is for display purposes only.
I think it's time for a new pick up line. So far my " hey you want to go back to my place, order a pizza and fuck?" Has set me at an all time low downtown 0/4
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
Not only do I have a well-defined bite mark on my arm, but I also have a perfectly clear bruise of a handprint wrapped around my arm like a tribal tattoo. Thoughts on how that happened?
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
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