Successfully pulled the houdini tonight. Check that off my list.
If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
I paid some man $10 for his shirt last night cause I liked it. Explains that. Bought the jackolope head from a street vendor. Got invited to someone's hotel rooftop swimming pool which explains why I was in my bathing suit. My clothes from last night are MIA. Going over the border with no pants on is awkward. Origins of the car rim still mysterious.
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
Why are you awake at 6am and liking photos from rando Russian chicks on Instagram?
He was twisted. Literally. It's like God took his dick with a pair of pliers and gave it a half twist to the left.
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
All I've done today is nap, eat candy and get off from my vibrator. I didn't know it was possible to be THIS single.
I booty texted him nothing but three exclamation points at 3:05am and he was in my bed 17 minutes later, lest you think punctuation is not important.
Randomize
