We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
i'm naked playing bejeweled blitz in your bed. this is both a forewarning and an apology
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
Awkward family moment #1: walked in on my 15 yr old nephew packing a bowl. Nephew says- "lets not ruin christmas and keep this our little secret"
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
SHUT UP I CAN'T HEAR YOU OVER THE SOUND OF UKULELE AND LONLINESS
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
I'm eating Doritos at 9am because last nights weed is just now starting to wear off
We were drunk having sex and I knocked over her bedside table/fish bowl and she jumped off to check if her fish was still alive but she made me pasta so it's cool
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
what do you mean he's functionally heterosexual
u better not lose ur virginity to a sugar daddy who doesn’t post a pic of himself to tinder
I’m getting back at my ex and training my new boy toy how to properly satisfy a woman. I’m killing two birds with one dick.
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