Dude, it's gettin so bad even my fantasies just wanna be friends.
I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
i cant believe i hit a parked car with a pink dildo in my mouth... fuckin epic
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
The only thing keeping me calm right now is pretending to chop off everyone's heads when using the paper cutter
There is nothing quite so pathetic as sitting in bed in your underwear eating easy mac in complete silence, waiting for Netflix to load
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
About to go make a man out of a 24 year old boy
As I shove my ninth taquito of the day into my mouth...
Picking our battles
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
Randomize
