y did u give ur computer a hand job?
I just saw a hot homeless man
Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
if i died would you start the facebook group?
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
It doesn't matter if I tell the story beginning to end or end to beginning, the story still starts with a random girl blowing me in the bathroom.
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
Two options. One, you listen while I freak out. Two, we have mediocre to awesome car sex and don't talk. Either way, I'll be there by 7
My house smells like bleach. Also, I do not feel bad about all the stuff I stole from the hospital while I was there.
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
That guy I hooked up with in new york last 2 statuses are "I'm going to be a father, it's a girl" then "wow syphilis sure does burn" I'm legit scared... What has my life come to.
In hindsight I shouldn't have been blasting Antichrist Superstar if I didn't want to seem suspicious driving up to a Catholic church
Randomize
