So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
I forgot to tell you thank you for putting me out when I was on fire. im sure I'll laught about this someday...
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
Sorry about all of the penis things that happened last night.
I just read through our messages from yesterday and realized we both referred to me tearing my penis as a good thing. What the fuck.
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
She's trying to change her flight... IM BEING COCKBLOCKED BY DELTA CUSTOMER SERVICE
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
Last night you were prentending to be a broom stick...you were laying on the floor and humming the Harry potter song.
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
Randomize
