I'm fucking your sister right now.
You motherfucker
She's next.
I wish I was a guy so I could jack myself off anytime I wanted to
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my girlfriend just compared my daughters eyes to gollum from lord of the rings.
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
I've decided I'm peeing in a solo cup then throwing it on his windshield. It's official. He called the cops 4 times in our first week at the house. He deserves it, right?
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There arew tilmes ina man's life when christmaas. THerew are times in a man's lfie when drunk texts from a bathrom hyufgirto. So, you know, merry chriastmans.
Idk how much vodka is on these pants but I'm gonna wear them anyway: the biopic
Why do I feel like I need to drink to feel better about the things I do when I'm drunk
What shade of lipstick clearly states, I'm only attending this wedding for the drugs and groomsmen?
My boss asked me to pass over one of my business cards and instead I had condoms fall out of my wallet, how’s your day going??
Turns out tits aren't quite as effective an enticement when they know for a fact that they can't touch.
Randomize