Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
I woke up this morning with a bag of pepperonis in my bed.... and my facebook status was "pepperonis"
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
You want to complain about your sex life to me? Right now mine consists of trying to masturbate lightly enough not to wake her up with bed shakes. Go. Fuck. Yourself.
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
My sober self will be embarrassed tomorrow. For now I am laughing my ass off.
Laziness has hit a new level. I'm out of clean sexy underwear and meeting a boy tonight so I'm having a thong delivered via post mates.
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom
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