i'm at a stripclub and this bitch just lit her nipples on fire!
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
I feel like getting drunk at the airport is sort of a rite of passage into adulthood, but maybe i should reserve that occasion for a flight thats not just 1 hr
I didn't know whether to laugh at the fact that a dog bit his balls or throw up cause my dad was telling me a story involving his balls.
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
I just sneaky put a tampon in on the bus ninja-style.
......how on earth do you do that?
NINJAAAA
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.
I once broke a mans heart just to get laid by a premature ejaculator
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
Randomize
