This girl is more easily done than said...
So, we're in the car ready to fuck and she asks about my ex. I wave at my lap and say, "bye". She asks what I'm doing. I say, "waving goodbye to my erection"
shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
The highlight of my Saturday night was singing along to the sound of music alone in my room.
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
Fell off bed. Face first. 10 stitches. huge scar on forehead. totally going to start telling ppl my parents died fighting Voldemort.
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
She curled up in the corner, screamed "THE BLANKET IS SO WARM" and promptly passed out with her face in the dogbed. No one bothered to reposition her.
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
Well just give me the address, I'll bring the bourbon. If they let that into mental institutions
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
Randomize
