we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
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I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
I love THIS fish, the rest of the ocean can go fuck itself. I am ahab and he is my whale
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
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Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
Your friends are scaring the cats so I'm going to smoke weed with them to call them down.
After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me
I was not drunk. There was Star Wars, sex, and baby oil.
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