I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
im dressed up like a present. waiting for someone to unwrap me ;)
this is your brother
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
Getting stoned and going to costco. If i'm not back by dawn, you know what to do.
you spent 5 minutes trying to open an empty PBR and kept saying "don't worry i'll get it i've been working out"
My getting drunk and marrying a stranger in Vegas final court annulment papers just came in the mail... I might frame that shit
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
Got hit on by the cable guy. Solid 9. Think Orlando Bloom with a glorious curly mullet.
One minute we were playing beer pong, and the next minute I was sprinting to my apartment with a watermelon. wtf happened in between?
I don't need this shit right now. I just woke up covered in pistachios
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
She asked me if I could do that to her every single time. I said nope. sometimes it's better.
Randomize
